March 12, 2015 § Leave a comment

I feel like I’ve spent a large part of my life so far just waiting

Waiting for what- I don’t think I even know, maybe for something amazing to happen like in all the books I read, like a check-list that lets me know that I’m really living.

People achieve a lot by the time they’re 20, at least at the uni I go to that’s what it seems like, and that’s not to say that there aren’t things or people in my life that I’m truly blessed or happy about. I am but I’ve come to the realisation that I’ve just been watching the days go by,  and not doing anything significant with them. I feel like some of the best moments in life are when you feel like you have a purpose, some sort of drive or ambition to achieve something – what that may be- again I don’t know.

I’ve been waiting for life to really get started but I’m almost 20 now. But really amazing things don’t just happen you have to go out there and grab every opportunity and create them if needs be. Passively going through life no more. I don’t want to just accept that things that just happen and you just have to accept that –  I want to go out there and change that, be an active participant rather than just sit on the bench and watch life pass by.

Waiting for exams to be finished: I have realised I will have spent 6 consecutive years of exams and being so focused on work that I sideline so many other major aspects of life for. It’s not that I don’t want to or need to do well in them but I need to find a more healthy balance of living in the now as opposed to for some imaginary future, because truth be told I don’t know how happy that’s going to make me – always focusing on the future to try to avoid regrets. But the thing with that is that you end up having regrets anyways, I just need to try balance living for the now with preparing for the future.

Waiting to be free and just not care about other people’s opinions, being held back by them when really the only person that can hold me back is myself.

Waiting for love – but the thing is you need to be your own person first and when you look back on your life later your going to be thinking I wish I made the most of this time, right now when I had it. There’s plenty of time to be thinking about all that stuff later, right now I should enjoy being my own person and get to know the things that I like to do and make me happy. Get some hobbies and not get caught up by the monotony of everyday life.

I am almost 20 now, not so much hung up on the age but rather the list of spectacular things I could be doing with my life. I am so definitely not a child or even a teenager any more. I need to grab life by the balls and start being an adult about things. Stop letting others dictate my life and just really grow up, become independent and take full responsibility for the choices I make.

The best day of your life is the one in which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours. It’s an amazing journey, and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins


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